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Thursday, August 18, 2011

My Mom.....

As many of you know my mother is not well and has been struggling for the past four weeks to stay with us. Although she's in her 80's, which makes me in my 60's, my mother has always been a power to reckon with. Since my mom has become ill and frail I have found myself entering some new territory, one that I have had little or no experience with, it's that territory of extreme loss and separation of a loved one. I lost my father in '87 but with dad it was a blessing for him to move on and kind of a relief for all that loved him to finally see him have peace, this is much different! It's not time for mom...we have to many things yet to do!

Mom and I didn't always agree, heck we seldom agreed, but her strength and determination was always an inspiration! No one had a better work ethic than my mom, having grown up during the depression. She always said the most important things in life was a roof, full cupboard, a bar of soap and family! My mom is lying in a rehab facility in Oregon and here I am in Virginia. This is difficult being so far away but unavoidable....thank God my younger brother is there and on top of everything! I did have a conversation with my mom yesterday and it was wonderful....we laughed and made promises to each other and I finally heard hope in her voice. My daughter, Casey, has been a constant in my moms life and even, with the help of my brother, flew up to Oregon from California with her two youngest sons in tow to see her. Casey felt that if mom saw her great grandsons it might be the shot in the arm she needed and Casey was right! My mom wears a necklace that has a picture of all three great grandsons around her neck and she told me that she holds on to it tightly everyday and prays that she will get to hold onto the real thing soon.
I know this is almost redundant to say....but remember time is fleeting so hold onto those moments and people in your lives that are important and never take one day for granted. Once they have left us there is no guarantee we will cross paths again and our memories become the picture books to our hearts...sooo keep your camera ready and remember to love, laugh and click often!


whitey said...

Wow , this really hits home for me. My Mom is the same age as yours but she only lives about a half mile from me. And since I am the only daughter that does not work out the four of us I am pretty much with her every day if not every other day. But I have the same feeling I am not ready for her to go. My Dad has been gone four years now. We keep talking about *our bucket list* of things to do when her health allows. Usually I am out taking pictures and she comes with me and now she has her own camera and will try and take pictures along with me.
I think the world will seem strange when both my parents are gone.

WoolenSails said...

I know how you feel, I lost my mom when she was in her 70's and I still miss her. She was living with my sister in VA. so I never got a chance to be with her before she left. My parents weren't perfect, but I still loved them and treasured the time we did have and feel their spirits with me when I am working on new projects or doing things we used to do together.


The Moonlit Stitch said...

Peace be with you during this difficult time! I recently lost my dad and it is hard to see them struggle with their health to say the least. There most definitely is a guarantee, just gotta read the fine print. ~*~Lisa

maddyrose said...

I lost my mother six years ago and miss her still. My father went three years earlier so my sisters and I brought Mom here so she would have family close by. It was wonderful having those three years with her and seeing how happy she was to be with her girls and their families. Being that close at the end was a blessing and a curse because I think I feel the loss even more.

Sandi @ The Primitive Skate said...

Sorry to hear you are going through this difficult time! I lost my Dad 12 yrs ago and my mom is in her 80's and in a nursing home. It's hard when your parents aren't there. I work at a nursing home and I LOVE to be around the elderly. It's like having mom's dad's, grandpa's and grandma's all in one place. I Love to hear the stories of their younger days! My thoughts and Prayers are with you and your family!

LuLu Kellogg said...

Pam, I can so understand what you are going through. My mom is in a facility in NC and I am in Maryland. She can't speak and doesn't know who I am and has severe dementia. I thank heavens for my wonderful sister that is in NC that oversees her care. Your Mom and mine are a lot alike. We didn't always agree on everything but she always gave the best advice.

Sending you much love,

TheRustyThimble said...

Pam My hugs are extended through the miles to you. I am only 2 and a half hours from my mother but it is not an easy thing to make that trip I wish it were. I just had a scare with her this week. She will very soon be 90 and she has always been my best friend and my greatest inspiration in life. We lost day 14 years ago and like you it was a blessing or peaceful to know that he was not suffering any longer. No matter how many days go by I still miss my dad. And now I find myself having to think about how I would cope or carry one without my mother, we talk daily on the phone and she is my rock to lean on my friend to share with my shoulder for tears.
I hope your mother will be ok and know that she and you are in my thoughts

nancye williams said...

I lost my mom a month ago tomorrow. Yes, it was difficult to say the least. She was 92 years old. She had a blood disease that finally won. I wasn't there when she passed but I was able to be with her for about a month steady before she left. It is bitter/sweet memory for me. Almost unbelievable still.She was fortunate enough to have to struggle for only a few days. At least that is what we saw. God bless you and your mom today and always. Whatever happens, it is all good. Read the book "The Next Place" by Warren Hanson, it will help you feel better. I read it at the funeral. Celebrate your life and hers and talk to her as much as you can now. Peace nancye

Hanni said...

I know how you feel, your Mom in Oregon and you in Virginia. My Mom is in her 80's, still doing very well, but she lives in Germany. So it is very hard for me also. My Mom is very independent, but it is good to know that my siblings are all there and helping.
I wish your Mom all the best and like you said, make sure you take many pictures, because that is all what you have later on. I have my camera ready!

lynn said...

Sigh...oh Pam, I so know your pain and feelings on the subject of Mom's. My mom left this earth to be with her maker in 1984. She was on 60. She was far too young to leave and I was far too young to have her gone. I was only 22 and the one thing I learned the most above anything else on this earth is this from her death. No one will EVER, EVER again love me as much as my mom loved me. Not ever again. It broke my heart and my world when she was gone but weeks before her death I was on my knees asking God to please take her because she was so very ill. She had cancer and it was just taking her whole body. From the time she was first diagnosed to the time she passed was just a little over six months. I just couldn't stand to see her as she was wished there were some way to help her so I prayed and prayed. I always tell everyone who still has a mom to just try to always remember that there never will be anyone who will ever again love us like out mother has, so to cherish all there is, whatever it is while there is time to.

The Old Cupboard Door said...

I know what you are going through; I live in VA and my mom lived in AL. The last year of her life she was frail and ill. I so wanted to spend more time with her but was unable to. I called her a least one to two times a week. A couple of weeks before she died my husband strongly urged that we go see her, I'm so glad we did because she died 2 weeks after our visit. I was able to say goodbye to her.that opportunity was truly a gift! I hope your mom gains strength and she has the joy of hugging and kissing those great grandsons.

TheCrankyCrow said...

Best thoughts and sincere prayers for you, your mom, and your family...Wishing her health and healing - and you comfort and understanding. My mother, too, is in her early 80's and we had a real scare 2 weeks back - found out she has some massive blood clots in her lungs and legs....She's now in a nursing home, and it tears me apart because she has always been my rock. Being both stubborn, we rarely saw eye-to-eye, but she was my strength and sole support system so many times. I lost my father when I was only 15 - so, we bonded a little closer than we might have otherwise. It will be so, so, hard to let go - as it is now because her health issues is forcing me to let go in ways I'm not quite ready to....My thoughts and prayers are with you....Hugs ~ Robin

kim said...

Warm hugs and thoughts for you and your family.
take care

Deborah Adams,Long Beach, California. said...

There is nothing like the gift of a Mom and when that gift gives back with love and wisdom, it enriches our souls. Hugs to you Pam and wellness energy to both you and your Mom.

~ Deb

yorkie's primitives said...

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. I will keep your family in my prayers.
My Mom died in 2003 and there is nothing tht fills that void. We lived next door to each other so we were together every day.
I pray that your Mom gets the strength to overcome this and you have your time together, Valerie

Anonymous said...

Hi Pam, I am a great fan of your artwork and own a few of your patterns. My name is also, Pam, and I lost my Mom 3yrs. ago to cancer and my Dad passed away 10 yrs ago.I still miss her everday and the pain and tears never go away. Only the good memories keep you going andbring a smile to my face. I too am in my 60's and everday is a blessing. I hope your Mom is on the mend and you to share many more yrs. together. Good luck with your new journey in life on your weight loss. You seem to be such a beautiful person inside and out and my thoughts are with you.
Pam Stacey,Canada