"TraVeL ThRouGh ThE LaNd Of “Soft in the Head”
...the home of “Singing and Dancing Mice & Humorous Frogs!”.

Where “Original Designs” of patterns and soft sculpture characters come to life..…

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Friday, May 25, 2012

The Downside......

Originally when I first got onto "Facebook" it was to stay in touch with our kids since they live all over the world.  This is why I opened my page with the name "Pam Gracia" instead of "Soft in the Head".  Once people started to connect the dots and realize we were one in the same it took off and now has become an addiction that I find difficult to cure.  It doesn't help that my life is so isolated and about the only real friends I have I have made through the "art world" and we stay close via Facebook.  Facebook has become my only link to the real world, if you call it real!  

Dan an I have lived in Virginia for about 8 years now and in that time we have not made any new friends, we know people but not friends you know the grillin' and picnic type!  People that can help you when your ill or your car breaks down....we have no one!  This in itself brings to light more than ever that we aren't spring chickens any more and sometimes isolation like this can be a double edged sword.  Neither of us are church goers, have children in school and I don't work outside the home which makes it tough cause women are usually the social beings in relationships....not to mention I'm a bit to liberal for the area that I live in and often looked at like I have a third eye when I voice my opinion about certain issues, lol!  

Facebook is not only my lifeline to whats going on but it also opens the door to thousands of looneys out there trying rule an invisible world!  Kinda reminds me of the aggressive parents at childrens sport events....you know the ones that are there living through their kids instead of for their kids!  Facebook is a prime place for this kind of behavior.....I like to refer to it as the diva syndrome!  Everybody wants to be Queen and have a court of followers without dealing with the responsibility that comes with it.  I honestly get tired of others political or religious agendas being forced upon me but then again Facebook is what it is....a choice so I can't complain, well I can complain but I need to remember there is an on and off switch if I don't like what is being said/written.....or if I chime in I need to be able to take the heat of controversy!  Facebook has many pros....but the cons are HUGE!  Time being the biggest!  Most controversy you can treat like a door, shut it if you don't like it and walk away...unless it invades your space or those you care about then deal with it accordingly.  

I guess I'm writing all this as I try to make up my mind whether to close my Facebook account or not.  Facebook is great for getting your name (for business) out there but if you go public then you have a whole other bag of tricks to deal with....Facebook is hard...I still don't get it and often have a tough time figuring out all the ins and outs of the set-up.  It also is tough not to get sucked into "DRAMA"....Lord I hate drama...but there are times it is impossible to avoid and can seriously be an endless "emotional drain"....and a time vacuum! Time is critical right now for me since I am dealing with family issues that take up a huge amount of my time and I need to start planning for "Ghoultide Gathering" which takes months of work.....is Facebook worth the time.....I just don't know???????? 


WoolenSails said...

I know how you feel, I signed up to keep in touch with my relatives who live in other states and even that can be a pain, since some seem to think I love seeing stupid things they find on the web;) I just go in once a day and look at messages to see if there is anything important and to see photos of family and avoid the rest.


Happy Valley Primitives said...

I've had many of the same issues as you refer to on Facebook, so about a month ago I deactivated my account. I still set up another separate admin account (with no friends on it) so that I could keep my business page on there. I have to tell you that it was so liberating! There are some people that I miss talking to everyday, but I don't miss just how much of a time waster and drama outlet it became for me. I thought it would be a temporary break away, but I may not activate it again. I really don't miss that side of it, and since I still have my business page, I'm technically still out there for people that want to reach out. Now I have more time to create, and it feels great!


Stacey said...

It is addictive and a time sucker!!! I have been working this week to limit my time and interaction...and also cleaning a bit of house. My Facebook started the same way, for my family! Now I have an amazing amount of Friends! I need to fine tune it and me. Hope to see you there my friend...just not as often!

Theresa said...

Pam, I understand how you feel... it can be a time waster and the drama...oh goodness who needs it when they have their own life. I know it will be a hard choice but the ones who care about you will understand that you need to do what you need to do. :0)

Sheryl Parsons said...

Office plants dead, yes, I will avoid that doctor...lol! Stick around Pam, if it gets too much, I like Ilene's idea. We do enjoy seeing what you are up to, and lately Facebook is the only place I have time to peek at.

Zan Asha said...

I totally see where you are coming from. However, I try to just post whatever business/nice things I have to offer, then stay out of the fray.

I know it can be hard, but I find that if I DON'T react to things I see that bother me, then I can get online and offline there much faster.

I guess I am lucky in that most of my FB friends tend to have this same mentality and there is not too much posted that seems negative or a "time suck."

I also like the suggestion of maybe just posting as your business/activating only a business page so you can just stick to posting your dolls, etc. Maybe this will make it easier for you.

I do love what you are doing on FB and hope you don't leave, but I would understand, if you did :)

Romona said...

Hi Pam,
I'm someone who doesn't use Facebook. I signed up for 5 mins once and decided I didn't want or need it. To many people that want to be "friends", and who are these people anyway.
I too lead a fairly quiet life, but that's my choice. We live in a nice neighbourhood, nice town but I'm just more comfortable with only the occasional get togethers with friends, it just works better for me.
I'm not a social butterfly, not a church goer, no kids, just me and he and that's good enough for us.
I think the world needs we introverts to add balance to the extroverts...lol
So if it's any consolation, you aren't alone and speaking just for myself, I don't want to spend all my waking hours on the computer. I have enough to do and I want to be out in the garden, out for a walk or bike ride or working on my next doll or other art/sewing project, and just enjoy.....so I hope that helps a little....
Take care and all the best whatever you decide, because it will be the decision that works best for you. Romona ;o)

Janae "The Country Hollow" said...

I only check my facebook once a day. I try to only post items concerning my gourd sculpting. I have been so busy getting ready for shows I havent had time to even post pictures of new items lately. I do enjoy facebook but I, again, only check it once a day.

moosecraft said...

It seems most folks I know that are on Facebook... spend most of their day on Facebook... and get sucked into the games and "dramas"... I truly feel that "Face"book lessens people's ability to communicate "Face to face"... because it's so easy to hide behind technology... and folks say (type) things they would never say in front of a human being. So yes, it opens more bad than good... my suggestion to keep in touch with family far far way is Skype. A friend of ours has gandchildren on the west coast. She LOVES skype as it makes her feel she's right in the room with them! :-) That's my 2 cents... since you asked... lol! ;-)

Kays Kids said...

What a wonderful post.I have the same feeling as you about Fb. To stop or not to stop that is the question....

Christopher Klingler said...

Hey Pam ~ I enjoyed reading your post about F-book! '-)

I pretty much feel the same way and tread cautiously on mine as well.

Great music on your MixPod!

SpOOky Best,
cK >:-)